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The collected poetry  of chaz valenza including the patent pending* "3 Rules" sonnet. 

*The "3 Rules" poem style is patent pending, do not dare use it without a) crediting me, and b) sending me a check for $0.25 U.S. each time you create a "3 Rules" poem.


Camilla Parker Bowles

Three Rules for

Royal Living from Camilla Parker Bowles

1.   Houses.

2.   Horses.

3.   Hounds.


Minneapolis Swingers

Three Rules

for Minneapolis Swingers’ Club


1.   Don’t hog the hottie.

2.   Leave with the person you came with.

3.   No jealousy.


Midnight Mathematics

Given the fact that we know that on par

Half are half of the sum of the beauty that we think we are

And less than a third of us look good in pink

Whereas we all look much better after more than one drink

From a survey conducted at a popular bar

It is known women be more faithful than men near or far

Though men tend to admit they will scratch at the itch

Whenever a feminine eye might just happen to twitch

Take into account the sum of all actions

Geometry, calculus and all rude subtractions

On the spreadsheet of life men claim to fornicate

At forty-four times that of the said female rate


Late Afternoon

Take me, there is everywhere and

To the time and place where all is lost

And all is gained

Through a look, a touch, a kiss

What is more real than what cannot be bought and sold?

My heart knows nothing of my skeptic derivations

It has no use for less than wind, sea, earth, void, stars, wonder

Tell it what I may

It flies away

And between night and day

It claims there is but one truth


First Ride


Grip tight over spine tightening

Click, click, click, clicks… too fast, too fast

But oh so slow

Reaching the top, breathing panic

Here we go again

A crying free fall of joy

Rock bottom for less than a moment

That seems forever

This is love


We’re not in it we’re on it

A dragon ride

Does this one have loops?

Will I be turned upside down and inside out?

The fear feels good

Then it feels bad, real bad

Where is this taking me?

Are you willing to ride with me again?

In gritty Coney Island

Worn and battered like me

Still honest fun

We can pay Guido for a couple greenbacks

For the first car

It seems unfair, with all those in line

Are we willing to be the lucky ones?

And tell each other it’s okay

It’s own reward